I have been a Barbie fan since as early as my memory goes back. I remember spending hours changing her into various outfits, brushing her long locks and playing out the many different scenes that my imagination could concoct. To say Barbie was a massive part of my childhood is an understatement, Barbie was my childhood.
I am so proud to partner with Ackermans to showcase their new Barbie clothing range and to tell you about the exciting initiatives they have going on! The new Barbie range is beautiful, practical and speaks to diverse styles. With cute and trendy looks for your 2 to 7 year old and the most unique and edgy looks for your preteens to teenagers, there truly is something for everyone. Let me also mention how I squeezed myself into a 13 to 14 tee so I could get in on the action too! I absolutely love the tee I chose which shows the diversity of the brand beautifully.
The global #WeAreBarbie campaign strives to ensure that every little girl can see herself in the iconic Barbie brand, in this way sharing the brand’s inclusive view of beauty, and its innate belief that every little girl should dream big. As a mom raising brown girls, this resonates so strongly with me.
I have loved watching the brand grow and diversify. Barbie is a brand I adored as a child and that today I am proud to support as a mom.
Barbie has continued to evolve over the years to better reflect the world girls see today, adding more diversity for endless storytelling possibilities. Their diverse range includes, 176 dolls, 9 body types, 35 skin tones and 94 hairstyles!
To top that off, Barbie South Africa will be partnering with the Ackermans Ububele Schools Programme to donate Barbie Educational Items to 17 schools with a total of over 1000 students.
They are also hosting an AMAZING COMPETITION to WIN 1 of 3 Educational Trusts valued at R10000 each sponsored by Capital Legacy.
All you have to do to enter is: 🔸TAKE a pic of your little one 🔸POST the pic on Instagram telling us what your little one would like to be when they grow up 🔸TAG @ackermans_za and use the hashtags #ackermans #dreamtobe #WeAreBarbie in your post
We can’t wait to see your pics! Feel free to tag us in them so we can show you some love!
The festival of lights is almost upon us and I fondly reminisce on how excited I would be in the days leading up to Diwali during my childhood.
I grew up in a small town called Port Shepstone which is situated on the lower South Coast of KwaZulu Natal. Us Sheppi Ous are quite pedantic about it, so please do not confuse it with any other part of KZN 😉.
Port Shepstone has a fairly large, close knit Indian community so you can imagine that Diwali is always a massive part of the calender. The community as a whole played a large part in the atmosphere that existed around Diwali. From school, to my neighbourhood and even to our weekly temple service group.
Interacting with people who could share in my anticipation for the impending festival of lights, propelled the excitement levels and Diwali vibe even further!
The weeks beforehand were filled with outfit planning, lists, spring cleaning and of course exchanging Diwali greeting cards with your school friends so you could have the ones that boasted your favourite Bollywood star on the cover (yup, I know you remember those!).
Families and friends, like us, all preparing while local shops were bursting with various Diwali “specials”. And let me not forget to mention all the grocery shopping that happened! Every baking mother was on the phone with each other sharing where they found a good special on butter ghee or condensed milk! Apparently all the stores put the pricing of baking supplies up around Diwali so you had to start the shopping early!
My favourite memory by far though was the lingering smell of sweetmeats all week long 😍. For poor, impatient me who had to wait till Diwali for a taste, it felt like a lifetime. The excitement however, was tangible and oh, so electric!
When I think about the Diwali’s of my childhood, I feel slightly sad that my girls can’t experience the same. Now, living in a more diverse suburb in Johannesburg, clustered in complexes where, to be honest, we don’t actually know most of our neighbours, the vibe definitely isn’t what it used to be.
To add to that, the unfortunate reality is that unlike Christmas or Easter, Diwali is not one of the main stream celebrations that are marketed commercially in South Africa.
When just after her birthday in August, Mayil started asking how far away Christmas was, I quickly realized that the onus was on me to create the magic of Diwali for my kids.
I want my girls to love Diwali as much as I do. I want them to look forward to it. I want them to proudly tell their friends about it and have the same butterflies I had the night before the celebrations started. Most importantly I want them to ask me, “how many sleeps left till Diwali mum?”
Since Mayil’s birth I have made extra effort to create a vibe around Diwali. This year however is a bit different, for the most part, we will celebrate with just the closest family and we will probably bake just for our own enjoyment instead of for the traditional Diwali parcels.
And even so, I would STILL like to create an atmosphere of excitement for the girls and I have a few ideas planned to do just that.
If you too, like me, want to preserve that Diwali magic, here are some of my ideas below.
1. Welcome to the family, Oli the Diwali dolly! Mayil absolutely adores having Elfie around in the days leading up to Christmas and it’s a cute way to do a countdown as well as get some good behaviour our of it(win win). This year I am adapting this idea with a dolly named Oli, Oli means light in Tamil which is very apt for Diwali. Oli is a R20 doll I purchased from Crazy Store who I dressed up in a sari, dot and nose ring. Yes, she has red hair but for all intents and purposes, she will do 😉.
She will bring with her a little suprise each morning. Stories that we can read to the girls every evening as well as a card/activity they can colour in. I have designed a few printables that you will find further below that include Diwali colour in cards, colour in sheets, activities and masks for Diwali role play.
Here is Oli with a few of the printables I designed. Links below to more printables
2. We are going to bake together! Yesss, I know how messy this might get.. and yes I have mostly thought it through 🤭. T9 be honest though, one of my fondest memories was all the baking we did and the delicious smells that enveloped our home. Whether you plan to deliver parcels or not this year, baking together is a wonderful way to bond and to get your kids excited in the build up to Diwali. And of course, Diwali treats are just delicious!
Here are 3 easy and relatively kid friendly recipes to make together for Diwali
Coconut Ladoo You will need 1 1/2 cups dessicated coconut 1/2 cup water 3-4 cardamoms powdered 2/3 cups sugar
Method In a saucepan, mix sugar and water until well combined on low heat. When the mixture thickens turn off the heat and add cardamom powder and dessicated coconut. Stir well together. You can also add a drop of food colour in batches to create different colour laddoos. When cooled, shape mixture into small balls. You can add additional decor items like sprinkles or edible shimmer dust before the laddoos harden and set.
Easy Burfee Recipe 1¼ cup milk powder ⅛ cup ghee ¼ cup milk ½ cup castor sugar(or normal sugar powdered in a blender) 1/4 tsp Rose essence Saffron strands (optional) Nuts sliced and coloured (optional)
Method Heat ghee in a nonstick pan, add milk powder, milk and rose essence and give a mix. Saute this mixture for 30 seconds to 1 min till it is well combined. Add in the powdered sugar and mix well. In about 1 to 2 min the ghee will start to move away from the sides of the pan. It wont take more than 2 mins. Immediately pour it in a greased pan and top with saffron and nuts. Allow to cool before serving.
Chocolate Peda 1 cup milk powder 1/4 cup Sugar 2 tbsp Cocoa Powder 2-3 tbsp Milk Almonds for garnishing
Add the milk powder to a pan and heat for a minute. Add milk and sugar and mix well. Let the sugar dissolves completely. Keep stirring over a medium-low flame until the mixture thickens and leaves the sides of the pan. Add cocoa powder and mix until combined. Remove from the flame and let it cool down. When the mixture warm enough to handle, knead it into a smooth dough. Grease your hand with little ghee if needed. Divide the mixture into equal-sized balls. Shape them into flat discs and press lightly chopped almonds in the center.
3. Practice rangoli patterns beforehand. Diwali is not just the festival of lights, its also the festival of colour! Rangoli is the beautiful patterns of colour that stand at the entrance of your home during Diwali celebrations. It’s a great idea to practice with your little ones beforehand as it can be a bit tricky. Prepare your colours, I prefer using coloured rice which is easier to work with than powders. Have your little one draw their idea for rangoli daily, in the week leading up to Diwali and let them practice a smaller version with your coloured rice.
4. Music and videos. YouTube has amazing content of animated Diwali stories and songs. You can play these in the week leading up to Diwali so that they become familiar to sing along to. Annnnddddd, if you are into singing and dancing or would at least like to try, you can learn a song or dance together that you can all perform on Diwali for friends and family. Where my dancers at??? Yes, I know this one isn’t for everyone but it is super fun none the less 😉. I have also included some role play masks of Rama, Sitha and Hanuman in the printables below. I’m thinking Diwali skit maybe? 😉😉😉
5. Design your own clay lamps. Diwali is all about the lights. Let your little one get involved in decorating and painting the clay lamps that will light up your home on the night of Diwali.
6. Plan a Diwali outfit. A new outfit was always something I loved about Diwali. However this year and with 2020 being as unique as it is, the girls and I are upcycling old sarees for our Diwali outfits. This is technically a new outfit and I am super excited to see how it all comes together.
7. Decorate your home. It doesn’t need to be anything extravagant. Create a Diwali corner with sarees and string lights. Soft sarees are excellent to drape with. You can have a Diwali latern, clay lamps or even a chalkboard counting down to Diwali.
8. We ordered a customized Diwali box for the girls. On the last day before Diwali, Oli the Diwali Dolly, will deliver a special Diwali box for the girls. It includes a few crafts, a paint your own cookie, a mendhi cone and stories about Diwali. We ordered ours from Crafts4Culture.
9. Tell stories. As much as the age old Diwali stories are amazing, tell your kids stories about your own memories of Diwali growing up. This is a great way to bond and to share in the magic of Diwali. I have recently been gifted a beautiful book by Stories for Shiv called The Story of Diwali , this would be an amazing addition to your home library. The book retails at just R150 and comes complete with activities and colour in stickers.
10. Simple Diwali arts and crafts. Here are 3 simple art and crafts activities that I found that May and I did together. They are pretty easy to do and use mostly stuff from around the house. Everything else can be bought inexpensively from Crazy Store or a craft shop. You can do these with your little one in the week building up to Diwali.
On the morning of Diwali, we will all rise early for our traditional oil bath using 3 different oils. I generally use mustard oil, sweet oil and coconut oil. We plan to get dressed up in our special outfits and start the morning with prayer. Thereafter, the festivities will begin! We plan for lots of song, dance and laughs, definitely a sugar rush, some family bonding time and another year of memories to add to our scrapbook.
I hope this helps in a small way to create some Diwali magic in your household. May the light of Diwali fill your home with love, happiness and prosperity always.
Much love,
Reev
As promised, here are the free printables that you can download and print for your little ones.
I have an absolute love for good food and even more than that I love spending time in the kitchen putting together recipes that my family will enjoy… So you can imagine my dismay when my creations are met with a strange face by my first born 😕😕 😕
Aaaah picky eaters… And before I go on, let me just tell you it wasn’t always this way. Even though she has always been a snail paced eater, May wasn’t always fussy about what she ate. She was exposed to all flavours, textures, spices etc. as a wee baba but somehow when she grew older (and found her voice as well as her opinion), she started rejecting certain meals.
No jokes, we even went through a beige food phase! If the food wasn’t beige, May wouldn’t eat it. This left me repeating many meals and getting quite creative with sneaking some of the good stuff into her meals.
So far(knock on wood 100 times), Ray, my second born, has been very different in the food department. With an adventurous palate and a good appetite, the 1 hour mealtimes that I dreaded repeating never came to pass. Phew, was this mama relieved?! Absolutely!
Thankfully the fussy days are getting fewer and further between, with each passing month May seems to be getting more and more adventurous with food so I can assure you, it definitely does get better. But for any other mama’s still riding the wave, here are a few tips and tricks that have helped with my Picky Eater AND a few recipes that are always a winner for being delish and getting the good stuff snuck in.
Tips for picky eaters : 🔸Offer choices before preparation of meals but don’t offer alternatives once meals are ready. If for whatever reason May doesn’t want her meal or “isn’t hungry” , I place the meal in the microwave for when she’s ready for it. Offering an alternative can set a precedence for future meal times and nobody wants to be cooking multiple meals or wasting food.
🔸Sneak the veggies into sauces. If she sees certain veggies whole, they start their own congregation at the side of her plate so blending them into sauces has really helped.
🔸 Offer your child their favourites, even if it means they eat it more than once a week. 🔸Pick your battles, don’t force meal times, allow them the opportunity to understand their bodies and their limits. If May says she is full and wants a snack 5 min later, she definitely didn’t eat enough of her dinner. So we afford her the opportunity to say she is full unless she comes back 2 seconds later wanting a snack.. Then she’s just referred back go her dinner that I keep safely in the microwave. 🔸 Let them get involved in the cooking process, picking out the menu for the week or choosing fruit and veg at the store. 🔸When trying new foods, start with small amounts and present it before the more favoured foods. 🔸Reward your child for trying something new with a non-food reward. Using verbal praise is great way to show your child that you are proud of them. Little stickers, extra play time, stencils or cute pencils also work really well as inexpensive rewards. 🔸Rule out food intolerances or allergies. While allergies might show clear symptoms, intolerances are sometimes harder to spot. If your child refuses food that include dairy, gluten or cruciferous vegetables they may be experiencing unpleasant due to an intolerance. Ask your child if these foods make them feel nauseous, bloated or their tummy uncomfortable. 🔸Cut our distractions during meal times. Although it can be very tempting to switch on the TV for meal times, it’s not a great habit for picky eaters. Reduce distractions so your child can concentrate on the task at hand.
And now, for some of my favourite recipes for picky eaters or just to sneak some goodness in..
Breakfast ideas : 🔸Omlette with spinach and mozzarella Crack 1 egg into a bowl and mix well with 1 tblsp milk. Chop 5 baby spinach leaves into tiny pieces and mix in. Finely grate mozzarella and add to egg mixture. Add salt to taste. Cook as an omlette or as scrambled eggs.
🔸 Egg muffins I have learnt that presentation is everything and that anything in a muffin shape looks appealing. Sometimes just changing up the look of things can help with a picky eater. This one is pretty simple: Beat your eggs together with 1 tblsp milk, salt and pepper and some finely chopped onion. Pour the egg mixture into your muffin pan and drop in your fillings. Fillings to try: Cheese and tomato, spinach and feta, mushroom and corn. Bake in the oven until cooked to your preference. I generally do about 10 to 15 mins to cook till well done.
🔸Blueberry pancakes I use a brown flour recipe for my pancakes and they are beautifully fluffy and delish. Add in some blueberries to the batter and suddenly we have pancakes/flapjacks /crumpets that went to private school. I mix together 1 cup of brown flour, a quarter cup of brown sugar, 1.5tsp baking powder, 2 eggs and half a cup of milk. Once combined well add in 1 tblsp melted butter. Lastly an optional extra is to drop in a handful of blueberries. Then, heat a pan and use a ladel to pour small amounts of batter. Turn over only once bubbles start to pop on the top of crumpets.
🔸Avo egg toast Spread a generous amount of smashed avocado on a slice of toast. Chop up a boiled egg into pieces and spread evenly over avocado. Optional to add salt and pepper for taste.
🔸Banana French toast Mash a banana until smooth. Mix in two eggs together with a pinch of cinnamon, nutmeg and 2 drops of vanilla extract. Preheat your pan.Use cooking spray or butter to lightly grease the pan. Dip slices of bread in mixture and transfer to pan. Cook both sides until golden brown.
🔸Smoothies Any fruit, veg and yoghurt combo is a great option for your toddler. It’s delicious and wholesome (raw fruit and veg are packed with the nutrients), you can even sneak in some seeds here, I like adding in some chia, linseed or a pinch of the omega seed mix. 😉
Snack ideas : 🔸Apple slices with nut butter 🔸Yoghurt bark with fruit and nuts 🔸Grated or sliced cheese 🔸Biltong 🔸Brown or rye bread with nut butter or avo spread
Lunch and dinner ideas : 🔸Spaghetti bolognaise with grated veg Boil spaghetti and set aside. In a pan braise a quarter chopped onion. When onion is browned, add in a quarter tsp turmeric, and half a tsp of crushed ginger and garlic. I also add half a tsp of masala but this is optional. I add in mince of choice and stir well. Add in 1 tblsp finely grated carrot and 1 tblsp finely grated zucchini. Add in 1 chopped tomato and 2 tsp of tomato paste. You can add salt to taste. When cooked add in 1 tsp full fat cream cheese and mix well. Add in the pre cooked spaghetti.
🔸Air fried Crumbed chicken strips Cut free range chicken breasts into strips. Tenderise with a rolling pin or pestal. Dip strips into egg and thereafter into dessicated coconut. Add foil onto air fryer rack and cook for 10 to 12 min or until golden brown. Strips can be frozen uncooked for up to 1 month. This can also be made using fish but no need to tenderize first.
🔸Lamb, broccoli and sweet potato curry In a pan braise a quarter chopped onion till browned, add in a quarter tsp turmeric, and half a tsp of crushed ginger and garlic. Add in half a tsp of masala and half a tsp of garam masala. Add in chopped ip lamb, grated broccoli and sweet potato pieces. Add in chopped tomatoes. Add small amounts of water and allow to cook on medium heat till meat is tender and veggies have melted into the gravy. Serve with rice or roti.
🔸Chicken, cauliflower and mushroom pot Sautee onions in 1 tsp of butter till fragrant. Add in quarter tsp of ginger garlic and half a tsp of chopped or dry thyme. Add in chicken pieces, cauliflower and mushroom and allow to cook. Add in half a tsp of corn flour and a quarter cup of milk/cream. Allow to cook of medium heat until cauliflower has melted into sauce. Serve with rice or use filling in a pie.
🔸 Creamy fish pasta Boil pasta and set aside. Bake fish in oven or air fryer until flaky (not more than 12 mins to avoid over cooking) and set aside. I make a white sauce on the stove top by using half a cup of milk and 1tsp of corn and mixing until it thickens. I also add in a handful of cheese and salt to taste as the mixture heats up. Once the sauce is at my desired thickness I mix it together with the fish and pasta.
I hope these help for your picky eaters or just as ideas for meals for your toddler!
Sleep… Something newbie parents are “warned” about as they anticipate the arrival of their squishy face offspring…
If you are currently expecting, you can be sure that you will hear things like…… “Sleep now, while you can!” “You might never sleep again!” “Newborns wake up all the time!” “Wait till you get to the teething stage!”
Is all of this really true though? Is it as bad as they make it out to be?
To be honest, no two babies are the same and sleep can GREATLY vary.
Babies will also go through phases, growth spurts, leaps, sleep regressions and temporary illnesses that may possibly disrupt their sleep patterns. And in the same breath, your baby might go through phases of really good sleep patterns and you find yourself trying to track every last detail down to what you wore to try and repeat that 🥴🥴🥴 oh motherhood!! The unpredictabilty humbles us all!
But the phases tend to be just that….. Temporary stages that end almost as quickly as they started.
A newborn Sharaya who loved skin to skin
Some babies will even go through these growth spurts and leaps without much fuss, change in behaviour or sleep patterns at all! If this is your baby, thank the baby sleep God’s and don’t say it out loud because they might hear you and then it will be jinxed!
Disclaimer (adding it in early to avoid you the long read😉): If you think this is going to be a perfectly curated sequence of ways to get your baby to sleep through the night…I’m sorry to disappoint…This really isn’t that. This could be seen as more of a survival guide perhaps 😉
I’m definitely no expert in sleep (even though I love it so much, I should be!) but somewhere along my journey of raising two humans, I have come up with a few “coping mechanisms” that get me through the nights 😉..and by that I mean surviving them…. Not sleeping through them 😂😂😂
I think it’s also important to mention that for both the girls, the first 6 weeks were about survival for me. While I was consistent in our evening routines, I swaddled before sleep but mostly I took cues from my baby on what they both needed.
Basically what the first 6 weeks post partum were made off.. Open tops, feeding bras, squishy tummies and a baby who loved being on top of me. I was a lot more relaxed as a second time mom and didn’t put unnecessary pressure on myself or Sharaya to conform to any time frames set out for us. We went at our pace.
Let’s start at the very beginning, Mayil has never been a “sleep through the night” kinda baby. Heck at 6, she isn’t even a “sleep through the night” kinda kid. But lets be honest, lots of us aren’t even “sleep through the night adults”. We will wake for a pillow toss, a drink of water or a bathroom visit. The difference however is that we know how to put ourselves back to sleep. Babies still need our help with this until they learn how to self soothe.
Looking back, I realize that we formed sleep associations (you are going to hear more about this as we go on) to help Mayil fall asleep that were hard to sustain. They weren’t sleep associations that she could assist herself with until she was much older and unfortunately when we took those sleep associations away, we just replaced them with others!
When Mayil was born, we had a cot for her in our bedroom and I wanted to keep her there as long as we both needed. A few nights into her newborn phase and I couldn’t understand why Mayil wouldn’t sleep for more than two minutes in her cot without bawling her eyes out.
Mayil as a newborn in her cot.. My swaddling game wasn’t strong yet
I followed all the steps, I swaddled as I should have, I put her down while drowsy, but still the minute she was in that cot, her little cry would fill our room.
It didn’t take me long to realize that my little baby, who was so warm and comfortable inside me for 9 months, just wanted to be close to me.
And so, I started my journey with co-sleeping. As Mayil grew older her affinity for her cot grew (thankfully) and she would spend the first half of the night there. The minute we heard her stirring we would bring her between us till the next morning. She always slept so well between us (she still does). I lived for those sloppy kisses and spleen kicks that woke us up every morning. Mayil slept in the typical H pattern with herself being the centre of that H 🙈 Eck!
Waking up with a smile after keeping her parents awake all night
I kept hearing that keeping your kids in your bed was a bad idea and that we would never be able to get her out of our room. BUT, I have never had a moment of regret in our decision to co-sleep. It worked for us as a family and it helped us ALL get more sleep.
Fast forward 4 years, I found out that I was pregnant with Sharaya and we started to transition Mayil into her big girl bed in her own room. We made a big celebration of it, decorated her room for her and she has been there ever since. Her room door as well as ours remains open and she is always welcome to come to us if need be.
And course we did have a few days during Sharaya’s newborn stage where Mayil temporarily moved back in. Husbae and I now found ourselves with TWO tiny people in our bed and a stiff neck every morning. Though it was hard, it was also so special. I remember waking up in the middle of the night and nursing Sharaya while I watched Mayil and Chad sleep next to us. My heart exploded at the thought of my whole world being together in one bed. I cherish those moments. It’s been pretty bittersweet that the night wakings with Mayil coming into our bed has become fewer and far between.
With Sharaya as a newborn, our bed got pretty full
And then came Sharaya, I don’t know if I was just a more relaxed mom or if she was just super easy on me. To be honest, I believe that a child’s personality can also play a big role in the type of sleeper that they will be. I say this because I followed the exact same routines and methods for both the girls yet they ended up with contrasting sleep associations and were quite different as sleepers too.
Sharaya refused a dummy (I only tried like 50 million kinds), Mayil was a dummy baby till the age of 3. You can imagine how perturbed I was when Sharaya wouldn’t take one! After my experience with Mayil, I felt like I needed one! Mayil never took to a taglet or any other comfort toys that we offered. Sharaya loooooves her taglet and immediately sucks her thumb when she feels it. This is her sleep association. The nice thing about thumb sucking is that it is a great way for a baby to independently self soothe. Of course it has its downfalls as well, like not being able to take a thumb away like you can a dummy (because I might get arrested for that kind of behavior), but we shall cross that bridge when we get there. I also think because the taggie is her association to the thumb sucking, it might be easier to wean her off it. But, yeah, kids are super unpredictable, so stay tuned for a blog post update in about a year to two’s time.
Apart from her dummy Mayil needed movement to fall asleep, as a baby we bounced her on an exercise ball. Once she became to heavy for that (around the age of 2…no jokes) this was replaced with tapping, tickling, massaging, singing etc etc… The list goes on 🙈🙈🙈. Thankfully this was just to fall asleep at night and we didn’t need to repeat the process during night wakings. We are now down to just a story before bedtime…… Yay us! Every now and then she will call here Dada to her room for some reassurance, to put the blanket on her or pass her her water (even though it’s like less than 60cm from her!) ..talk about high maintenance….phew!
Sharaya, since birth became drowsy with a feed and fell asleep in my arms without any rocking or tapping. As she grew older, she preferred to fall asleep in her cot or on the bed straight after her milk feed. The minute she had her taggy, she would suck her little thumb and turn over to sleep. How the heck did I get that right??? I think it was her, not me!!
And if you’re still with me…… The point that I am trying to get across is that babies can be very different and we have to figure out a rhythm that works for your baby and of course, for you!
Sharaya at a few days old
So after my mini thesis (thank you for reading)…..Here are some of the tips/tricks/mental notes that we have incorporated that have helped improve sleep (for everyone) in our household.
1. Rule out the obvious : Of course one of the first things to do is to rule out the obvious factors that could disrupt sleep. Hunger, illness and discomfort (this would include things like irritable clothing, wet/soiled nappy, feelig too hot or too cold) are all contributing factors to disrupted sleep.
2. Co-sleeping : While this may or may not work for everyone, co-sleeping has been one of the biggest blessings for us. The minute the girls were next to us, they slept through the night easily. I guess it is human nature to enjoy the warmth of someone next to you(beside through an African Summer obvs). So, if it is something you and your partner are open to, definitely look into it. And, of course bear in mind that when co-sleeping with a newborn, there are important guidelines to follow for safe co-sleeping. We had the next to me Chelino co-sleeper and a sleep pod for Sharaya that worked really well for us. Now that she’s older, she slots perfectly in the bed between us and loves plonking herself on top of me in the middle of the night.
3. Day time naps are important The position and duration of day time naps set the tone for the evening. There are specific wake times and nap times for your baba that are age appropriate. They generally follow these guidelines : Age No. of naps Awake time 3-4 mths 4-5 Naps 1-2hours 5-6 mths 3-4 Naps 2 hours 7-8 mths 2-3 Naps 2-3 hours 9-12 mths 2 Naps 3-4 hours
After the age of 13 months day sleeps can vary, some stick to 2 naps while others transition to 1. Sharaya transitioned to 1 nap around the age of 14 months.
4. Consistent routines I am a non negotiater on our evening routine. With both the girls, I found keeping the evening routine fairly consistent helped to have a better night’s sleep. This is an idea of our routine for the evening 🔸 Dinner by 5pm 🔸Wind down play and family time between 5.30pm and 7pm 🔸Bath by 7pm 🔸Milk feed for Sharaya/Story for Mayil by 7.30pm 🔸Lights out shortly after
5. Understand leaps.
What is a leap? And why does this happen? A leap in the mental development of your baby means that his brain perceives things it wasn’t capable of perceiving before. All babies go though the same changes in the mental development around the same time depending on their EDD (be wary of this for preemies). With each leap, your baby is given the possibility to learn new things. These are ten stages from week 5 of birth to around 17 months of age. They will likely be grumpier than usual, more clingy, and cry more during a leap. They may also feed a lot, or lose their appetite, and often resist being put down, seeming to be happy only when they are held. This is because they are feeling unsettled, and they have learned to trust you and find comfort in your closeness. Embrace this, ride the wave, listen to your baby and take cues from them on what they need. Leaps generally last a few days and then they are back to their usual selves. I used the wonder weeks app to help me stay alert of upcoming leaps.
6. Sleep regressions Sleep regressions can also be linked to leaps. A sleep regression is a period when a baby who has been sleeping well (or at least well enough) experiences a disruption in their sleep. Sleep regressions can include shorter naps, extreme fussiness at nap or bedtime, fighting sleep, and frequent waking at night. Several things can cause a sleep regression, but the shift in sleep habits is most often attributed to natural the growth of a baby. New developments, such as crawling and teething, create changes in sleep patterns that facilitate those developments. In other words, your baby growing up can mean less sleep for you. The major sleep regressions happen at 4 months, 8 months, 12 months and 18 months. The 4th month regression is the most common one. Again, like a leap, take the lead from your baby about what they need. This will usually not last long and you are unlikely to develop any “habits” over this time.
7. Growth spurts
What are growth spurts? A growth spurt is a time during which your baby has a more intense period of growth. During this time, they may want to nurse more frequently, change their sleep patterns (sleeping more or less), and generally be fussier. Although growth spurts can happen anytime during the first year, your baby will most likely have his initial spurt between 1 and 3 weeks; and another between 6 and 8 weeks. After that, you can expect more at 3 months, 6 months, and 9 months. Unlike leaps, growth spurts happen around the same time whether baby is a preemie or not. Growth spurts are physical changes in your babies body and size while leaps are changes in your babies mental development.
8. Understanding nutrition. Of course hunger can cause sleep disruptions but the lack of certain minerals from specific food groups can also do so. Around the age of 6 months the iron stores in your babies body will deplete and this can cause sleep disruptions. Iron can be introduced via diet by including iron rich foods like dark green vegetables, lentils, quinoa, liver and sweet potato. In instances where you are unable to add these minerals via diet, chat to your paed or midwife about supplements.
9. Bath time I moved bath time to the evening which helps tremendously in relaxing baba and setting the tone for sleep. I include a handful of Epsom salts which is excellent for relaxing baby and a supplement of magnesium which is a wonderful mineral to aid in sleep.
Bathtime is always fun!
10. Baby massage After bath time, a massage with a mix of olive and lavender oil also helped to relax baby. I recently also tried out the Chicco Baby range which has a stunning massage oil. It absorbes wonderfully. It leaves babies skin feeling super soft, smelling great and without any oily residue. Here is my baby massage routine that I followed for both girls.
11. Activity during the day I find that having some sort of movement in our daily activity helps Sharaya sleep better. Whether it’s a walk outside, running around on the grass, or playing on the swing, the extra movement helps reduce restlessness.
12. White noise for the win White noise has been a lifesaver for both girls. Especially during the newborn phase you will find white noise immediately soothes your baby as it resembles the sounds in the womb. I used white noise for Mayil passed the age of 2 and we are still using it for Sharaya as well. I notice a remarkable difference in Sharaya’s restlessness if I forget to turn on her white noise. I have downloaded a white noise recording that I play of my phone on repeat. I must admit, even I enjoy sleeping with it too!
13. Poker face During night wakings, try not to engage baby too much. I know its hard, especially when they wake up in all their cuteness to stare you down. Try to be consistent in getting them to lay back down with some tapping and their sleep aid of choice, for Sharaya it’s the taglet while for Mayil it was her dummy.
14. Setting the tone for sleep It’s important to have a time where you start to wind down for the evening. Lower the volume on the TV (I say this strategically as ideally you should switch the TV off but try doing that with a 6 year old in the mix) and try to stay away from activities that will overly stimulate baby. Babies sleep space should also set the tone for winding down. Bright coloured mobiles and a well lit room are not effective in promoting sleep. We ensure that the room is as dark as possible, that her white noise is switched and that there aren’t too many items around to stimulate her. This has also become a sleep association. These can be known as external sleep associations.
15. Sleep associations
A sleep association is basically any action that helps your baby fall asleep. Children of all ages, and even adults, have sleep associations whether they’re aware of them or not. Sleep associations can vary and can usually start anywhere between 8 weeks and 4 months. We have to ask ourselves though, is the sleep association sustainable long term? Is it something that they can learn to do independently eventually? Whatever your baby needs to fall asleep will usually be what they need to fall back to sleep during night wakings as well. The dummy, while it wasnt something Mayil could independently put in until she was a bit older still served as am easy sleep association for us. I didn’t have to jump out of bed to pop it back in… Well unless it fell somewhere in the middle of the night and we all had to wake up and search for it (dummy parents will know exactly what I am talking about 🤣). While I was breastfeeding I used to feed Sharaya to sleep, when she woke I would often stick a nipple in her mouth in the hope that we could both just go back to sleep. While many moms successfully dream feed, it was something that just didn’t work for me. I was completely aware of Sharaya nursing and could not for the life of me even manage to dose off while she fed. Once she started solids, I noticed that her need for the feeds through the nights dropped and we were able to break our “feeding to sleep” association and move on to just giving her the taggie. While it made me a little sad, I welcomed some extra sleep. It’s important to figure out what works best for you and your baby and most importantly what feels sustainable for you.
16. Don’t be afraid to seek help. Sleep deprivation is a form of torture! If baba is not getting into a routine that allows some rest for the both of you, don’t feel bad to seek help. Sleep is important for babies growth. You can speak to your paediatrician to rule out underlying factors or to a sleep consultant if you want to look at gentle forms of sleep training. Personally, I have never believed in the cry it out method and I know that there are several consultants that use a gentle approach to sleep training. Be wary not to start this too early as regressions, leaps and growth spurts are bound to disrupt sleep patterns again.
17. Lastly and I think most importantly never ever forget that it all goes by too quickly! I say this over and over again. While the nights may feel long, the years are wayyyyy too short! Enjoy the extra cuddles and their need for you a little longer! Pretty soon we will have teens that we can’t wedge out of their beds! We will probably long for the days when all our babies wanted to do was sleep in our embrace….so enjoy these moments.. They are ever fleeting!
And remember that there really isn’t a perfect way to approach sleep or ANY other facet of motherhood. There is only the way that works for you and your family! Find your rhythm and flow with it. I honestly don’t believe that you can “spoil” a baby and if both mama and baby are happy and thriving then that is all that matters!
And just like that, its the middle of the year 🙂 one very important day is upon us so here are some ideas and some free printables to make dad feel exttttrrrrraaaaaa special 🙂
The printables include fold-able cards in a variety of designs. There is also a “Best Dad in the World” Certificate added to all the cards that you can customize with dad’s name! There are also pages for your little ones to colour in. There are a few different designs and one with a frame where your little one can draw a picture for Dad!
Here are some cute crafts that you can do with your little ones for Dad.
The first one is a tie card, I used sticky craft material for the tie but you can use coloured paper or even a customized design by your little one 😉
A tie card!
Next we did a fishing craft, Chad is by no means a fisherman but this one will be perfect for my own dad from the girls 😀
The fish flips open to include a message for dad
We just used different coloured paper, googly eyes, some string and an ice cream stick.
And now for those printables! Don’t forget to tag me if you do!
Links to printables below! Remember to check the preview on the side before hitting print and ensure your settings are on “fit to printable area”.
10 years… How are we almost at our 10 year wedding anniversary? And, with a little human of our own who is already 10 months! Loving all these 10’s to be honest. We’re mama’s! We’re happy! And I still wouldn’t have it any other way.
Charl, Bianca and little Zana
By no means has our journey and our relationship been an easy one, but it has most certainly been a fulfilling one. Let’s take it back a couple of steps…
They say the gay community is small. I guess you could say it is, well for us it was anyway. Charlene and I met in the most of unusual of ways… We dated the same person, wait for it… At the SAME time. Yup, you read that correctly!
Charl and I met 12 years ago. We both have our version of a very percuiliar situation.. Haha..
Despite the crazy way Charl and I met, there was this undeniable attraction that ran through my very core. I typically felt high and mesmerized every time we interacted.
Fast forward two years, and it’s like the universe just opened up and said; “get together already will you?”. And to be honest, we have never looked back since.
Our relationship moved extremely fast from the moment we knew we could no longer deny the way we both felt for each other. Within 3 months, we got engaged, and within 6 months we got married.
Friends and family were caught off guard, the gay community as well as our mutual ex, all believed us being together was, in all honesty, a form of revenge. But, this, this woman, this relationship, this happiness, simply put, is what I had hoped and only dreamt of.
5 years into our marriage we started trying to have a family. Wow!! To say it’s a challenge for same sex couples to have a baby is a bit of an understatement. The emotional and financial strain it takes on not just you, but your relationship is next level. Our whole trying to conceive process was an extremely emotional one. During this time, I made bad decisions, which meant our relationship took a hard knock, but I do believe that because Charl never gave up on me for a second, we came out stronger.
We were faced with so so so many challenges during our fertility journey. Low AMH reserves (Low Egg Count), Severe Endometriosis, blocked fallopian tubes, the lack of Indian sperm donors. The list goes on. We faced losses within our families, injuries, surgeries, hospitalizations and more.
But being the resilient couple that I’d love to think we are, we never gave up.
We finally conceived our beautiful, precious baby girl in October 2018 via artificial insemination. We made use of an anonymous Indian donor and openly welcomed motherhood on the 29th July 2019.
Life has a funny way of working out.. You see, during our entire process, deciding to try to conceive at this particular time was absolutely insane for us. I was recovering from major surgery and well financially, we had taken a massive knock. I work in the aviation industry as a flight attendant and as a result of my recovery process, I was placed into a position that had me working on the ground. Charl and I went into it with the attitude, “Whats the worst that can happen? I’m already grounded! ” (grounded being the term used for not flying).
This time was different, we never obsessed about tracking ovulation, we never obsessed about eating foods that supposedly aided fertility, and well, we just never stressed. We went with it, whatever was to happen would happen. And in this time, we learnt our most valuable lesson, “Our timing may not be God’s timing”.
In December, we will be celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary. It’s hard to believe how far we have come. We finally have the family and lives we so eagerly spoke about in those very early days, but I am so incredibly excited for what still lays in store for us.
Coming out as part of the LGBQT community growing up was never easy for either of us, but we have always held our head high, because we believe everyone deserves to love, and be loved.
Being in an interracial, same sex relationship and now with a bi-racial child in today’s time, has its own challenges, but no matter what, I know I can always count on Charl and our love to pull us through.
If I could do it all over again, I would still choose her to do this life with. Love should know no colour, and no gender. And that’s exactly how we plan on raising our daughter.
We’re in this, together, till infinity and beyond…
It’s no secret that keeping the kids at home due to the lockdown comes with its own sets of challenges! One of the major ones for me is my cameo as “home schooling mom”. While Mayil’s school has been so very helpful with the variety of online lessons and activities, I needed a few items in my arsenal in my mission to home school successfully especially with the end sight seeming so far off!
Before you read any further, please know that I am not a teacher and these are printables that I have made on my own to assist me with Mayil’s language lessons. I tried my best to find fonts that simulate the Grade R fonts as closely as possible. You will notice that many of the fonts on M.S Word have a’s , g’s , t’s and i’s that your child may not recognize from school. It can become very confusing to use worksheets in those fonts. I am sharing my worksheets with you just in case you find them as handy as I did 🙂 I will also give you an idea of the methods that I use to teach Mayil the concepts easily.
First, I have done a letter recognition exercise and flashcards for all the letter sounds. I use these to ensure Mayil remembers the letter sounds. I like flashcards as I can often mix them up and go through random letters to ensure she understands the sounds of each and the concept correctly. Letter sound recognition is the first step and identifying pictures as well as matching the letter sounds helps a lot with this too.
Next, I have done some CVC words, this incorporates your short consonant-vowel-consonant words for early readers. I have done them in a table according to the vowel categories and have also done flashcards of a few of the words from the table. Again, I like flashcards because it allows me to be random in the lesson with Mayil. You will see that I have highlighted the second two letters on each flash card as I am using this method to teach Mayil about phonics.
I would break up cat into “at” and “c”. I would ask her to sound “a” and “t” to make “at” and thereafter add the “c” to the beginning to make the word “cat”. This has been working well for her to understand the concept and she is really getting the hang of the CVC words. Yes, she still confuses her occasional d and b, but her understanding of the concept is definitely growing.
I have printed all these templates on paper using my home printer, you can use cardboard or even laminate to increase the longevity. I included a wide block around all the flashcards to make it easier to cut out. I also used plain colours and simple designs, not to distract from the letters themselves.
Links to all the printables are below, simply click on them to be directed to the download page! I hope you will find them as helpful as I have!
It started with a feeling. Two to three weeks before South Africa joined the world with this infectious disease that we call corona virus, I was at home watching the news and I started to feel panic. I envisioned my three year old son lying in a hospital bed while I was 39 weeks pregnant and unable to touch him. My husband tried to reassure me but for some reason my panic would not let down. And then, a few weeks later, we found ourselves curled up on our couch watching our President deliver the speech on the national state of disaster and thereafter the lockdown . My thoughts, my vision, my anxiety were suddenly becoming a reality 😷
What now ?
Lucky for us we had already made the decision from the moment I fell pregnant to opt for a home birth. This is something I had always wanted to do, since the birth of my first child. The lockdown commenced the 27th March which was my due date 😳. The lockdown progressed and still, our little girl was a NO SHOW.
The count down continued.
1,2,3,4,5,6,7 days later and still no baby…..
I started to panic thinking that if she didn’t come soon, we would have to be induced at a hospital. This meant my son couldn’t be with me and possibly even my husband with all the rumors of covid-19 protocols in place.
Another 3 days passed, I had some slight discharge along with Braxton hicks contractions. This indicated that the start of labour was near.
Nearly 10 days over due, on the 4th of April I woke up very early, went downstairs and got my energade. I called my midwife and we decided, today would be the day. We would try do a stretch and sweep to edge this prodormal labour into active labour .
I was up at about 5am and continued bouncing on my ball throughout the morning as the family slowly woke up. My son, my mother and my husband all came down stairs and excitedly awaited Sister Jillaine .
Now you see, before lockdown my mom and son were not meant to be present for the birth. I had never had a homebirth and this would be completely natural, without any medication. I was afraid of the pain and how I would react. I wanted no one else around but hubby and midwife . Well, I didn’t get that and boy, oh boy was I so grateful I didn’t . However the fear of having my son hear me scream or shout or in pain worried me, I didn’t want to scare him as he is only three years old.
When sister Jillaine arrived we got the room ready (we choose our daughters room to birth in) so she would be born into her own room! How sweet right?! We set up, we commenced with the stretch and sweep and it was about 10am that we walked downstairs.I lay on the couch with a ball between my legs and we all chatted as contractions slowly started coming in. We sat there till about 12:30pm.
When Sister said it’s time to move around we walked outside and did some exercise. I said to her that I needed to go number two 😂 (apparently this can be a sign of baby coming). Well, all hell broke loose and I started realizing the pain I felt was nothing and that it was all about to go down !!
We went upstairs, we did an internal exam and decided to do a little tear (not a full rupture or water break but a little tear ). After that we went into full force contractions and active labour began. I went from the bed, to the toilet, then to the bath, back to the bed, then back to the toilet. While all of that was happening I had my eyes closed, head back, moaning like a gorilla! The pain and the intensity was out of this world. I honestly sounded like an animal, it was such a carnal energy and feeling!
Unfortunately that number two that I desperately needed made it’s arrival in the bath 😂😂😂 not my fondest moment and we laughed as I profusely apologized! Let’s just say that was not the last of it ! As baby descended it seems that the toilet and I were the best of friends! I didn’t have any time to be embarrassed about bowel movements (let’s just say after that me and the sister J have an indescribable bond hahaha).
We rushed to the bed as sister said she thought it was time (I thought she might be crazy as it honestly felt like I was going to be doing this for another 6 hours). To my shock I was starting to push, my body was starting to push!!!! Was this real? Was it OK for me to push already? She just looked at me and said, “trust your body!”
I got onto my back as being on all fours was not comfortable for me and I started pushing!!!!
This was finally happening !!! I felt her head! And I couldn’t believe she was almost here! As I pushed I remember feeling this power come over me like this heat that over took my body, this rush of pain and power all together as her head came out. Then I knew it was over, I knew the hardest part was done and I waited to move the cord as the Sister told me to stop ( and by the way as this was all happening my son was quietly in and out of the room as my mom was panicking downstairs face timing my mother in law due to her hearing my roaring lol!)
As the shoulders came out the Sister and my husband where shouting to me, “take her, take her”! I was in utter disbelief as I leaned forward and took my daughter to my chest! There she was, slimy, soft, crying and so so small lying there on my chest!
My son running over jumping on the bed next to me, my mom running up the stairs with face time to my in laws and there she was, my beautiful daughter, our Kaycee!
She was born at 2.03pm. In total we were in labour for 4 hours and what an incredible experience it was! I would do it over and over again…
Welcome to the World Kaycee!
As I lay at night or walk passed her room I remind myself of how beautiful it was to have been at home, to have been brave in a world pandemic not knowing what would happen. Knowing no one could come see her or hold her. She is already 6 weeks old and she has not met loved ones or travelled . To think she only knows our home 🏡and how I crave to show her off and to tell my story of courage and love. But we have the rest of her life to explore and share, for now we are home safe and sound; loving, resting, and being a family .
Gavin, Bianca and Cody Edwards welcomed little Kaycee on the 4th of April 2020, in the comfort of their home in Cape Town.
My journey of life and motherhood truly began after my divorce. I am a single, working mum to two beautiful boys Sahal (5) and Suhail (3).
Being a muslim divorced mum, I faced many challenges at first. This began my journey of #2littlemenandalady on a social platform. I wanted to be a voice of reasoning, that single mothers can achieve anything they believe they can.
Being a working mum and raising #2littlemen is hard. Both have such different yet unique personalities and they each require a different version of me. With time I have learnt that a happy mum is the best version that my kids need right now. So we spend a lot of our time baking, cooking and having fun outdoors. At times I feel like I might be over compensating by trying to be both a mum and dad, but when I see how much my kids appreciate this, it’s truly worth it.
It’s been 3 years, we try our best to co-parent and always take the boys needs into consideration first. We don’t always get it right but neither do “normal” families either. The key is to be patient and understanding, without any ulterior motives. The boys have a dad who loves them and that is the most important element.
My heart breaks every time they leave, but I’ve learnt that I too, need a life. I use this as an opportunity to find myself, to be the person that I love. I’ve started running, dancing and I have even learnt to enjoy eating alone.
Being a single, working mum has pushed my capabilities to the max… but it has also proved to society that badass mums can exist 💕
Shazia and her boys, Sahal (left) and Suhail (right)
To say that we are ill prepared as a generation of fathers is an understatement. Decades of fathers gone by had society and institutions reduce their responsibility to income production and the occasional trip into the “common areas” of a home to raise a voice and “lay down the law”. The choice to be a “hands on” father was just that- a choice that was commended but not expected.
A few decades later and the definitions, expectations and essence of fatherhood has fundamentally changed. The socioeconomic landscape overlayed with a gender-role Renaissance has revealed a new generation of fathers evolving on the spot whilst trying to keep up with a growing list of expectations.
Our own fathers can only provide guidance up to a certain point, as pure lack of experience and knowledge on this subject renders them nothing more than a social commentator watching us navigate these new treacherous seas. Surely we cannot expect assistance from men who still refer to father bonding time as “babysitting”?
To add insult to injury social media has provided a platform for the parading of the new fathers of the year. Mommas of the world have banded together in massive online groups that allow them to lean on each other for assistance in raising children and compare the fatherly prowess of their husbands.
Fathers of today are learning on the job. The literature at our disposal is vast and mostly contradictory- raise with love but be stern, you aren’t their friend but they must be able to open up to you, teach them how to make good choices but don’t give them too much free reign… yet somehow through it all mothers who have gone through the same change in societal orders and hierarchy, who are also still figuring this all out and also have to parent in this super modern, gender fluid non-binary, clarity barren landscape are just thriving!
If recent history has birthed any lesson in this regard it’s probably that sometimes it’s better to not ask what your contemporary is doing differently from you but rather to just accept that they have gotten to the endgame quicker than you. It’s time to follow these revolutionaries and try fit into their new world order.
Who left me with this guy???
If, like me, that concept still evades your comprehension- start simple- just take the bloody photo already! It gives them one less thing to tutor you on and shows that you appreciate that they have this parent thing down better than you and whilst they lay the path for the entire family to trod… atleast you will be there to take some photos to extol her glory when the time comes.
Written by a father who still questions how he was trusted with raising living beings…
Chandresan Govender Photo meddler Fashion Reflector Semi Pro Dad and Husband Pro Lawyer
The Daily Reev 